You can’t make this stuff up – Leaky is leaking again!

Seriously.

I mean… ugh, I can’t even.

And it’s not even from the same place. Plus, I’ve apparently popped a stitch (but that’s not why Leaky is leaking).

If you’re squeamish, you may want to run away now. However, if you want to hear the “truth is stranger than… forget that, YOU CAN’T MAKE THIS SHIT UP” version, read on.

You’ve been warned.

I originally planned, after taking a boob break last week to speak a bit o’ pirate, to finish the monstrously long and ridiculously detailed surgery update. However, my interesting life had other plans…

Sunday, the 17th, I managed a trip to the store all by myself – the first time I’ve done that since mid-June. Things were finally starting to feel like normal again. I should’ve known then something was up.

Are you frelling kidding me right now?

Tuesday afternoon, as I was heading into the shower, I noticed what appeared to be a small bit of black fuzz on my incision. Since I’d just taken off my black cotton tee-shirt, it made sense, so I attempted to swipe it off. When it didn’t budge, I lightly scratched at it with my fingernail, then watched in horror as a tiny bit of black blood oozed out. I immediately decided I must’ve just given myself a bit of a scrape, and it would clear up in no time, then hopped in the shower.

Half hour later, when it was still oozing more than a minor cut should, I called the doctor’s office and left a message for Dr A’s assistant (since she was out of the office for the week, because of course).

My bruise is doing what?

A short time later, her awesome assistant called back (seriously, everyone in the office makes me feel better any time I talk to them), and said he’d consulted with a number of the docs in the office, and they’d all come to the same conclusion. He said (and I’m paraphrasing, as I was shuddering too hard to pay attention to his actual words) if you get a large amount of bruising from surgery like I did (I mean, Leaky looked like a PokΓ© Ball with yellow & green instead of red, and black & blue instead of white), and your body doesn’t manage to reabsorb all the blood, it’s not uncommon to have it leak from your incision a couple weeks later.

via GIPHY

He said to rest, keep an eye on it, and bandage it as necessary while also letting it stay uncovered whenever possible. Also, to call if there were any changes.

Seriously???

So for the next four days, I alternately bandaged up my boob, or gave it a chance to breath gauze-free. The first couple days saw the amount of liquid increase, but then it seemed to slow down. I was whiny and bitchy achy and sore, but I figured the worst of it was almost over. I figured wrong.

Am I on Candid Camera or something?

Yesterday morning, as I was taking off the overnight bandage, I decided to clean off some of the tape residue. Oh, and I don’t know if I mentioned before, but half of my incision came out picture perfect (the top), but the other half separated a bit, probably before I even left the hospital (Dr A is amazing, but even she can’t fight Gravity and Swelling when those two villains get together). So you’d think the ooze would happen from the bottom half, right? Nope – the liquid decided the path of more resistance was the better choice, so it popped out of the perfect half.

However, the bottom half felt left out, and decided to join in. Which brings me to cleaning up – as I worked on getting the sticky goo from tape off, I felt a tiny rough spot at the lower end of the incision. I lightly scratched at it, something tugged, then suddenly there was about a half inch of string hanging out of the almost-completely-healed cut.

via GIPHY

Can this be over now, please?

Since I wasn’t running a fever, and nothing looked infected, I decided to put another dressing on, and wait until today to figure out what’s up. I called the doc’s office so early this morning that I got their answering service. I wicked-overshared (which is apparently my superpower) my situation with the very nice man who took my message, and now I’m waiting to hear back.

via GIPHY

So, how was your weekend?

via GIPHY

eaky is leaking again (aka my breast cancer concern)

Spoiler for my next Lumpy & Leaky update - IT'S NOT CANCER  #MicroblogMondays
“Not sure what #MicroblogMondays is?
Read the inaugural post which explains the idea and how you can participate too.” ~ Melissa S. Ford, Stirrup Queens

Leaky is leaking – IT’S NOT CANCER! This is not a passive voice. I am writing in an active voice. My SEO will stop telling me how to write. update on Leaky aka my breast cancer concern. These sentences are also shorter than twenty words. Stop being so controlling. I will keep going until you turn green. Leaky is leaking again. I can’t believe this is still orange. Finally, it has turned. Success! This is not a passive voice. I am writing in an active voice. Leaky is leaking again. My SEO will stop telling me how to write. These sentences are also shorter than twenty words. Stop being so controlling. I will keep going until you turn green. I can’t believe this is still orange. Finally, it has turned. Success! This is not a I am writing in an active voice. My SEO will stop telling me how to write. These sentences are also shorter than twenty words. Stop being so controlling. I will keep going until you turn green. I can’t believe this is still orange. Finally, it has turned. Success! This is not a passive voice. I am writing in an active voice. My SEO will stop telling me how to write. These sentences are also shorter than twenty words. Stop being so controlling. I will keep going until you turn green. I can’t believe this is still orange. Finally, it has turned. Success! Leaky is leaking again.

53 thoughts on “You can’t make this stuff up – Leaky is leaking again!

Add yours

  1. Leaky, Leaky, Leaky. I thought we had an understanding. You’re not living up to your end of the deal. Sigh. I’m really disappointed in you. I expect better of you, knowing how Traci raised you. Please stop harrassing my friend. She’s been kind to you over the years. She hasn’t judged you, or berated you. She’s overlooked your whining and passive aggressive behavior. It’s time to quit this childish behavior. Don’t make me give you a time out. I will turn this car around, young lady.

  2. Oh my goodness, leaky is really playing up! Must be frustrating and worrying at the same time? Glad your doctor is nice, and keep on over-sharing – they need to know everything! Hoping leaky settles down soon x

  3. Oh the body and all that comes with it. Very frustrating indeed, but I will echo Tanya about oversharing. Especially in situations like this as 1) it gets you taken seriously and 2) short of the doctor actually seeing you, they have almost all the information they need before they call you.

    Hone that superpower lady!

    Any may they call back, tell you your body is healing and then leaky stops leaking altogether with no more drama!

  4. I literally couldn’t finish reading it because it reminded me of when I had the drain sewn into my leg and I accidentally forgot to unpin it from my pants when I went to the bathroom one time and ripped it out a little bit. I actually started to get queasy and lightheaded by the middle of the shower part of the story. So, anyhoo, I don’t know how it ended but I hope you’re ok.

    1. Oh, Christine – I’m so sorry it triggered that HOLY SHIT memory for you. The short version at the beginning pretty much sums it up, and I get the feeling (based on a phone call a short time ago) the doc won’t even have me go into the office. Just more waiting and healing. Mega *hugs* to you, dear lady!

      1. Oh, it’s ok. I can get queasy at anything. That’s my real superpower. LOL! Well, at least the doc isn’t concerned, so that’s good. But I bet you are over this crap, ain’t ya?

  5. My dear girl, what a time! I am sooooo sorry to hear about this, and I will continue to send you MEGA-TONS of healing energy!! Please know there are lots and lots of us out here that are doing the same!!! Cher xo <3

    1. You’re so awesome, Cher! Thanks so much, and I can feel the love from everyone – in fact, even though I’m grousing about every little thing, I have no doubt it could’ve been much worse without the love, support, and healing juju from my amazing cyber-friends. ❀️

      1. Well right back at you, my dear Traci! I am so glad you can feel it from everyone. Well you deserve every single sparkle of healing energy! It has no doubt been an extremely trying and stressful time and sending the good stuff hopefully will help!!! <3 <3 xo

    1. Thank you, Noelle! Sharing also keeps me from completely going crazy. There’s at least 0.00001% of me that’s totally sane because of awesome people like yourself. πŸ˜€ ❀️

  6. Oh, NOOOOOOOOO! I am so sorry, that sounds horrific. Love the gifs. πŸ™‚ I am a huge oversharer too, and the people are usually like, “um, Ma’am, we’re just the answering service…” I hope you get answers and get rid of the string and this leaky boob nonsense ends for good! Thinking of you!

    1. Thanks so much, Jess! I’m glad I’m in such good company – we should start a group, then find another group (something like, “Lonely People Who Are Hard Of Hearing” and hold our meetings together! *grin*

  7. Is there no length Leaky will go to maintain the spotlight on her? Once this is resolved (which it will be) you might want to get her some acting classes, so she can get paid for acting out. Truly, this sounds like a nightmare, and I hope you stop leaking asap!

    1. Oh, don’t give her any ideas, Molly! Although, given how talented she is at this, I wouldn’t be a bit surprised if she won a Golden Globe award for her performance…

  8. I’ve been holding onto this notification for a while waiting a few moments to drop in and say WTF! Foul play indeed and free string? What’s all that about? I guess the small bonus was no signs of infection. I do hope between then and now this is still the case and matters have moved on toward some sort of, well, sorting it out.

    It must be a tad demoralising though. After the last few weeks when all should be sorted and then this. Really want some good news now please Traci x

Feel free to shout out!

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Proudly powered by WordPress | Theme: Baskerville 2 by Anders Noren.

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: