I Love You, Period.

In honor of the best and easiest period I’ve had in forever (Goodbye, iron deficiency! Hello, perimenopause!), I’m reposting another blog entry from yesteryear. I eventually plan to get all my old entries up (somewhere in the neighborhood of fifty or so), and I’m thankful for the millionth time that I saved them all before the blog site disappeared (another story for another day).

period geek graphic from SeacoastOnline, redo big

I Love You Period
Posted by InternetGeek at February 10, 2006 05:08 PM

Some things are just wrong.

I was in the middle of writing an entry about resolutions in my life (both the New Years kind, and the clearing up issues variety), when I took a break to check out my spam account (you know, the free one you use when you sign up for offers, or give to friends who are notorious for forwarding outdated petitions and offers to earn a dollar from Bill Gates). It also doubles as my Yahoo groups addy, so I scan it on a regular basis to make sure I don’t miss something important. A piece of spam caught my eye, and I had to open it because the concept didn’t seem possible. I’m sorry to say I didn’t misread it.

Valentine eCards & Savings from KOTEX

Now my life is complete. I can email my girlfriends nifty little ecards with sayings like, “Heeeelp! I need a girls’ night out soon – and you’re just the girlfriend I want to step out with!’. I can play an online game of Ms. Match. I can even check out my “beautyscope” or “lovescope” (of course, what does it say about me that at first I thought the section “Astroguide” said “Astroglide”?).

After a quarter century of visits from my “friend” (adjusting for the two plus years of flow-free bliss while preggers), I have made peace with this aspect of my life. I am not embarrassed to walk through the store with a box of Tampax in hand, and hubby is equally nonchalant. It is far from a taboo subject at home – given how often the bathroom becomes an official gathering spot while mommy is “going potty”, it would be difficult to keep something like that hidden and I don’t feel that it should be (although discreet is always welcome). I’ve had bizarre conversations with women I barely know about “Aunt Flo”. But what would possess some ad executive to decide that I would want a desktop picture that reads, “Kotex fits. Period.” with a prominent red dot as my computer wallpaper?

I shudder to think what other companies may jump on the bandwagon. Ringtones from Imodium (maybe the theme from the musical “Fanny“)? Beer cozies from Lotrimin (“Taking care of yeast everywhere!”)? Calendars from Depends (“Show you are ‘depend’-able by keeping track of important dates!”)?
The end (brought to you by… nah, I don’t have the heart to say it… *grin*).

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