A Dream (Host) Interlude

First, a clarification from yesterday’s post – my fourteen year old said she was less “appropriately horrified” and more “mildly inconvenienced” (her words) because she had to keep her hand in front of her face to hide my mad dancing skills from her eyes. I guess my ability to trip the light fantastic intimidates her (yes, that’s what I choose to believe).

I planned to begin discussing my experiences with depression today, but after I read an email this morning, I changed my mind. It’s somewhat related, though – up until recently, I doubt I’d even have opened the email, let alone enjoyed it so much. And I know it seems somewhat random to discuss something I received from my website hosting company (Dream host, the bestest host in the world!), but it’s an unexpected pleasure to encounter creative little tidbits in unusual places. Rather than a simple announcement that they have a new thingamabob launching called Dream Compute, the creative types (in this case, specifically @DreamHostBrett) instead send out cool blurbs like this –

Traveler!

I see you, Traveler! Come, sit by my fire.

I’ve rations enough for the both of us!

Come! I’m an old man, you see! I’ve no weapons but this staff, and my arms are weak and shriveled from the radiation. I’m no threat to you, Traveler.

It’s just…it’s been so long since I’ve seen anyone wandering this dusty, barren wasteland that wasn’t from…you know. Up there. Above the clouds.

The creepers.

Ah yes, make yourself at home! These rations may be years old but they’re still sealed. See, I came across an overturned big rig months ago full of ’em! Looked like it was part of a larger supply convoy, but those dang laser beams from the sky didn’t leave anything else for salvage.

Between the beams and those creepers creepin’ around I’d say you and I are right lucky to be alive.

Got plenty of water, too. Military T.R.A.P. filters help with the radiation but honestly that’s like using a shot glass to bail out the Titanic, am I right? HA! HAHA! UH HUAHHHKK HUUAAAKKK. Ugh. Sorry friend. Lungs haven’t worked too well since the attacks started, you know?

I see you’ve still got your sense of humor, Traveler. That’s good. A man could go crazy out here if they ever stopped laughing. I came close a few times, that’s for sure.

Say… You ever make your way out to Neo Vegas? I came across another traveler once, dressed up a bit like yourself. Said he came from Neo Vegas. Said they had some kind of “King” running the show over there. Some real whiz-bang computer guy.

The traveler told me this King of theirs managed to build a dome over the city – the entire city! – with something called “DreamCompute.” Said this dome stops the beams AND the creepers from getting in. Can you imagine such a thing?

Now, I don’t know how much of this story I believe, but if they’ve got a thing over there that can stop those alien bastards from sending down those beams and turning dust into more dust, then I’d say that’s something worth fighting for.

I was headed that way myself before I set up camp for the night. See, this DreamCompute thing’s got me interested. Back in my day I was all about the cloud. I was a pro. A real “DevOps thought leader”. Hah! That’s what they called me! Ridiculous.

But I was focused on the wrong things, you see. Proprietary hardware. Private clouds. Black box infrastructure. Closed source software. Sometimes I think that if I had been paying attention to important things like OpenStack back when I could have made a difference, none of this…would have happened.

I need to host my dreams in a sky full of clouds that aren’t darkened by ships sending crackling beams of energy down to rattle my bones and shake the dust from every shattered tree limb at 7:52AM every. single. day.

So I’m headed toward Neo Vegas. I’m headed to DreamCompute; toward the promise of an open cloud, freedom from fear, and the chance to be a part of something that could save whatever’s left of us from *them*.

You’re welcome to join me, Traveler. But first, let’s cuddle.

-Brett

What’s your favorite surprise piece of creative writing you’ve encountered? Feel free to shout out in the comments and let me know.

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